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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28319748">realization</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesuisdeux/pseuds/jesuisdeux'>jesuisdeux</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AU - Dooku is a force ghost, Angst, Angst and Humor, Caring Dooku (Star Wars), Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack and Angst, Crying, Dooku (Star Wars) Is So Done, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Force Ghost Dooku, Force Ghost Shenanigans (Star Wars), Force Ghost(s), Gen, Good Dooku (Star Wars), Grand Master &amp; Grand Padawan Bonding (Star Wars), Grandparent Dooku (Star Wars), Grandparents &amp; Grandchildren, Guilt, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Mess, Obi-Wan Kenobi on Tatooine, Parent Dooku (Star Wars), Planet Tatooine (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Pre-Star Wars: A New Hope, That's Not How The Force Works (Star Wars), i guess, kind of, this is the funniest and saddest thing i have written</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:46:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,533</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28319748</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesuisdeux/pseuds/jesuisdeux</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Instead of Qui-Gon, Dooku becomes a force ghost. It means he has to make sure his -practically- grandson is fine on that desert planet. It turns out, no, he is not. How surprising.</p><p>Then Dooku should be the voice of reason. Or the opposite of the voice of reason? He is not sure. But surely he can talk to his falsely remorsed grandson. He was never fond of that Skywalker anyway.<br/>-<br/>"I suppose I am talking to dead." Obi-wan said finally, like accepting something solemnly. "Dead who I don't even want to see."</p><p>"Didn't Qui-Gon teach you social decorum?" Dooku complained, he had every right to reproach. "Not a bit?"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dooku &amp; Obi-Wan Kenobi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>185</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>realization</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>death (canon, it is dooku), nightmares, something close to survivor's guilt i think?, crying, guilt. it may be dark, even though i think it is mostly funny than dark.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dooku had a weird realization while waiting for the Skywalker. Waiting... for... the thing... For the little effort Skywalker would put and chop thoughts and emotions off. <em>Easily as using scissors.</em></p><p> </p><p>A weird realization, yes. Accidental, even.</p><p> </p><p>But then again, waiting for the final blow of death, neck exposed between two sabers, of course it had to have an effect on the victim's inner world.</p><p> </p><p>Something shifted. Something left. Something exploded. All in his inside. And he, <em>accidentally, it was never something he would do, really,</em> let go.</p><p> </p><p>He let go.</p><p> </p><p>Of everything. Of nothing. He didn't mean to. But after all these years of training, after every Jedi teaching carved into his mind already, and with the fact he was dying- Well, it would be surprising if he didn't realize what he realized. And it would be surprising if a response wasn't aroused in him to it.</p><p> </p><p>He didn't matter. He was merely the pion. The pawn. The stooge. But it didn't matter too. He wasn't the one to end this war. To bring some sereneness to the Galaxy. He was nothing. But realizing it didn't hurt. It was like clouds lifting, mostly. And accidentally, he would say, he let go.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps he never had anything to hold onto anyway.</p><p> </p><p>Or had he? As ideals, maybe, with the dark way, he wanted to do the "true" thing, somehow. As persons? He had Qui-Gon once. After that, or before that... There wasn't anyone actually.</p><p> </p><p>No. There was someone he wasn't so eager to kill. Someone <em>practically</em> grandson. Someone he bargained just a bit for his life. "Another chance?" he had asked. Killing Kenobi wasn't... the cleverer move, after all. He was being rational. "Kenobi must die, today, at your hand." the cold answer was.</p><p> </p><p>He believed he could do such thing. Just as he believed he could end the war. He couldn't kill the man lying unconscious ahead of him, behind Skywalker. No. He wasn’t going to end the war. He wasn't doing any of it. He was dying at the point.</p><p> </p><p>And it wasn't a terrible thought at all. He never was meant to do neither of these things, actually.</p><p> </p><p>Dark side, pulling, always wanting attention, always wanting to something to fed on, finally shut up. There was no emotion. Fear wasn't there and the dark beast inside him was long gone.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe the Jedi Code wasn't that aimless. Nor the Sith Code.</p><p> </p><p>There was no peace. There was no emotion.</p><p> </p><p>Realization was soft.</p><p> </p><p>And none of it mattered. He let go. After all, he was going to die in seconds. Then again, it didn't really matter. He took a breath.</p><p> </p><p>Because he wasn't seeking immortality, he became immortal.</p><p> </p><p>Ironic.</p><p> </p><p>Expecting his consciousness to split apart, but receiving wholeness.</p><p> </p><p>How marvelous.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>He was in Tatooine.</p><p> </p><p>He couldn't be anywhere else.</p><p> </p><p>Two suns, two shadows and of course one exile.</p><p> </p><p>His grandson has tasted catastrophe and betrayal and now he was draining his days in dunes.</p><p> </p><p>Well, Obi-wan was also draining tears.</p><p> </p><p>Dooku had been trying to do something, communicate with anyone, but it wasn’t working.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps Master Yoda would hear him. But he wasn’t very sure if he could have <em>the talk</em>. So, he was watching over Tatooine these days, of course.</p><p> </p><p>Young Jedi was sobbing in his hut. Because he had tried to meditate and connect with someone too. Actually, some people. Tried to reach up to others.</p><p> </p><p>Soon he realized.</p><p> </p><p>There were no others.</p><p> </p><p>There was silence.</p><p> </p><p>Jedi was gone.</p><p> </p><p>Tears became sobs.</p><p> </p><p>Seeing oneself's grandson in great pain would have an effect, even on former Sith Lords. An effect very unpleasant and an effect that making one feel a desire to interfere. A very strong desire to interfere.</p><p> </p><p>"Why are you crying my child?" Dooku asked.</p><p> </p><p>Obi-wan startled and pulled his hands off of his face. <em>So it worked</em>, Dooku thought. But then one of the same hands went for a non-existing saber in his belt.</p><p> </p><p>For years, this voice meant danger and Obi-wan was in a war for so long to break a surviving habit.</p><p> </p><p>Then something clicked. What he heard was impossible. Not because he was on a different planet hiding nor because the war was over. It was impossible, simply because his opponent was dead.</p><p> </p><p>Mouth opened for words didn't come and then closed with frustration. Hands wiped his tears. Eyebrows furrowed.</p><p> </p><p>"I suppose I am talking to dead." he said finally, like accepting something solemnly. "Dead who I don't even want to see."</p><p> </p><p>Except fighting on the other side of a Galactic Civil War for years, what did Dooku do, really? He didn’t kill him. It was a notch in his belt. Come on, he would expect a bit kindness from his descendant.</p><p> </p><p>"Didn't Qui-Gon teach you social decorum?" he complained, he had every right to reproach. "Not a bit?"</p><p> </p><p>Obi-wan didn't mind the reprimand. Shook his head with sorrow. "You are not real." And among all reaction he could show, he chose laughter. "I am getting worthy of my epithet."</p><p> </p><p><em>Crazy old Ben.</em> Talking to dead. And he didn't even want to talk to <em>this</em> dead.</p><p> </p><p>Nearly everyone, no, everyone he loved and cared died and he was being offered the chance to talk to his eccentric-evil-fashionable and once-wanted-him-dead grandmaster. Like getting crazy wasn’t enough. Very well.</p><p> </p><p>But a simple "No." stopped the flow of Obi-wan's thoughts. "You still have so much to learn about the Force."</p><p> </p><p>Dooku sat down on the only chair of the hut. Little, raggedy, and dusty. Like everything else on this planet. Including people. And it was funny. His semi-transparent but still dressed to the nines figure didn't suit with the dirty hut at all. Obi-wan suddenly, and stupidly, felt like a terrible householder.</p><p> </p><p>"And about life." Dooku kept on. "Why were you crying?"</p><p> </p><p>He had so many reasons to cry and he would like to do it in peace.</p><p> </p><p>"It is a multiple-choice answer." grandson smiled, dismissive. "You have been replied, it's my turn. How are you here?"</p><p> </p><p>"Irrelevant."</p><p> </p><p>But Obi-wan waited. And his gaze was on his grandmaster, patiently glaring. Because it was highly relevant. Because it was absurd. Because he desperately wanted not to lose his mind. Because-</p><p> </p><p>Dooku sighed. "You are as insufferable as Qui-Gon."</p><p> </p><p>"Thank you."</p><p> </p><p>"But I don't have an answer. It certainly is a rare phenomenon." he lifted his hand with a fancy move to show... his body... or the room. "I would suggest to look up to the Archives but, well-"</p><p> </p><p>It was clearly the wrong choice of dialogue because Obi-wan looked like he could start crying even with the idea of the Temple. How amazing it was for him to have his loyalty still stood to a dead construct. How… <em>annoying</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Dooku was unimpressed. "If so interested in- I suppose it is about the nihility of emotion." he shrugged. "Detachment."</p><p> </p><p>Obi-wan wasn't looking convinced when someone knocked the door. In fact, he looked like he was sure he really lost his mind.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, your grandmaster can detach himself, is it hard to believe?" he was asking when Obi-wan shot a frightened glance at him and stood up to open the door.</p><p> </p><p>Dooku waited patiently, no, impatiently as his grandson was scolded about leaving "the child" alone.</p><p> </p><p>The child?</p><p> </p><p>Oh, no.</p><p> </p><p>Who would look after the child of... <em>him</em> of all people?</p><p> </p><p>Obi-wan's sense of duty would kill Dooku right there if he already wasn't.</p><p> </p><p>He would prefer his grandson to not let himself decay on such planet.</p><p> </p><p>Not let himself to get a threatening finger on his chest. Skywalkers exulcerated him enough.</p><p> </p><p>The grandson nodded at the angry man amenably and that was all. The door shut. Owen Lars left and Obi-wan Kenobi turned around.</p><p> </p><p>“You must be- No. Do you realize how infuriating this is? If- You-” <em>No</em>, decided Dooku, <em>it wasn’t working at all.</em> “Girl or boy?” he asked finally.</p><p> </p><p>“Both.” Obi-wan smiled at him like it was the most beautiful knowledge he ever gained in his entire life. “But only boy is here.” Now there was nearly sadness.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Pathetic.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Leave the planet." Dooku suggested. "The boy will be fine."</p><p> </p><p>His grandson shook his head, somehow brooding over something. <em>Of course</em>.</p><p> </p><p>"You are not wanted here." Dooku said, ruthless, clear. The truth, after all, he always loved it. "Go on a vacation. I heard Literos have beautiful shores. Finding a ship shouldn't be hard."</p><p> </p><p>Obi-wan didn't say anything. Didn't made a sound and worst of all, he didn't even look at him in the face after that.</p><p> </p><p>He started doing his stupid daily chores with an aggravating calmness. Like he was deaf and blind to his grandmaster. Sewed some fabrics without any aim. Swept his hut.</p><p> </p><p>"You can't destroy your life here. You are young."</p><p> </p><p>He went out. Walked in the dunes. Came back with even more worn-out clothes.</p><p> </p><p>"He doesn't deserve it. Your loyalty is delusional."</p><p> </p><p>He drank water. Precious water, such a maddening physical desire it was. Especially on this planet. A planet where saving humid farmer’s equity from gangs meant scars and bruises to Obi-wan.</p><p> </p><p>"I thought you were cleverer."</p><p> </p><p>Then, as the suns were saying farewell to earth, Obi-wan hit the hay.</p><p> </p><p>Dooku's few commentaries fell on deaf ears.</p><p> </p><p>He was being ignored. Very successfully.</p><p> </p><p>But he wasn't planning to leave him alone. If he was the ghost, he was going to play his part very well. Haunting your grandson was a good role, actually. Was better than nothing.</p><p> </p><p>Until the nightmares began.</p><p> </p><p>Dooku should have guessed.</p><p> </p><p>Names were being screamed. If Dooku wasn’t mistaken, some of them clones, some of them Jedi. Even the names of the ones in creche. Then the name of a particular master which always broke Dooku’s heart to hear. <em>“Master, please, open your eyes-”</em></p><p> </p><p>Then Obi-wan’s padawan’s name.</p><p> </p><p>Then a few pleas. <em>"This is not you,"s</em>, <em>“Please, please don’t,”s</em> and <em>"I am sorry,"s</em>.</p><p> </p><p>And he woke up in cold sweat and with an “I have failed him,” in his lips. Repeated like a mantra. “I have failed him, I have failed him, I have failed him-”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Dooku cut in. “You haven’t failed anyone.”</p><p> </p><p>“I have failed so miserably!” Obi-wan screamed and jumped out of his bed, “I am still failing <em>at keeping my mind in one piece!</em>”</p><p> </p><p>“Your mental health is <em>fine</em>.” the former Lord curled his lips. “Of course, I am carrying the meaning of ‘fine’ to excess.”</p><p> </p><p>Obi-wan wasn’t looking at him. So, it was his answer to madness. <em>Do not look at it. Do not talk to it. But sit down in the middle of your room and shiver.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Not talking to me won’t make me disappear, grandson.”</p><p> </p><p>Obi-wan lifted his gaze to him with round eyes. Opened his mouth to protest. Then thought better of it. <em>Grandson?</em></p><p> </p><p>“And you haven’t failed anyone. Quite the reverse, what happened in the end.” Too gentle words for left the Grandmaster’s lips. “It may hurt your fragile proud, but the student is more than the teacher.”</p><p> </p><p>Obi-wan was shaking his head with new drops appearing in his tear troughs.</p><p> </p><p>Dooku looked bored. “Do you think of Master Yoda lowly?” he sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>Obi-wan’s question wasn’t answered nor the first question was repeated, pushing himself to answer.</p><p> </p><p>“No- I- Why would-?”</p><p> </p><p>“Very well then, your opinion is crippled. Flawed. Do you think Master Yoda taught me “wrong”?” This time an answer wasn’t expectant. “No.” Dooku answered himself. “He was as dogmatic as you.”</p><p> </p><p>Frown. It earned a frown from the Jedi. Good. He was confused, even disagreed, which was better than the on-the-brink-of-collapse.</p><p> </p><p>“What have I done cannot be linked to him. Saying otherwise underestimates me.” Dooku was proud. <em>Of all emotions, pride</em>. He looked content with himself.</p><p> </p><p><em>“He killed younglings.” </em>Obi-wan whispered with pain. <em>“Because of me-”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“Not because of you. And I wasn’t justifying <em>what he has done</em>. Skywalker and I are not similar the slightest.” Now his words contained disgust. Despise, even. All towards Skywalker. “Simply I am saying: No, it has nothing to do with the master. Was Qui-Gon a Sith Lord?”</p><p> </p><p>“No.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then whatever Xanatos did is insignificant. Everything is not about you, Obi-wan. Skywalker made his choice. I wish you have done yours too.”</p><p> </p><p>“What choice?”</p><p> </p><p>The choice to join him. Dooku would be definitely content with that. They could clear Sidious out together. Everything could have been better. Or if only he killed the Skywalker on that lava planet. Then Dooku wouldn’t watch his grandson hide on this planet, deep in his own agony.</p><p> </p><p>Obi-wan, like heard his thoughts, or because he clearly <em>did</em> hear, shook his head once again. He looked less disheveled. He looked determined, if not resolute. He stood up, returned to his bed with memories in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“‘Cannot be linked’, says the Count.” he finally spoke. His mouth was unsealed in the most stinging way. “He didn’t see what happened to Yoda after his betrayal, now did he?”</p><p> </p><p>Dooku’s silence plucked a laugh from the grandchild, nearly cruel. Not cruel at his opponent, no. Cruel at himself.</p><p> </p><p>“What about to him?”</p><p> </p><p>“He was sad,” Obi-wan said, shrugging grimly, “More than sad. For days. We all could feel it. It <em>clouded</em> the Force.”</p><p> </p><p>Dooku certainly didn’t know that. And it shouldn’t have made a difference.</p><p> </p><p>Oh, no.</p><p> </p><p>He was getting old. Like really, really old. Except he couldn’t, he was <em>dead. </em>But there wasn’t much explanation to how emotional he has gotten these days.</p><p> </p><p>And of course, the way Obi-wan actually pointed out an argument didn’t escape his notice. He was excusing his remorse for the Skywalker and he was doing it rather well.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t think I regret anything or will start begging for amnesty.” he said, clear enough to make Obi-wan pout. “And don’t change the subject.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, pardon me my dear General! Forgive me for I thought the situations were identical!” Obi-wan mocked. “Glory to Separatists!”</p><p> </p><p>A dark sense of humour for even darker times.</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up, and sleep, Republic scum.” Dooku replied. “And stop making faults your own, especially when they are <em>not</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Obi-wan gave him one last look, something between amusement and disbelief, and something between gratitude and fear.</p><p> </p><p>But he didn’t ignore him once more after that. Perhaps he was still suspecting his own lunacy, but he was so alone to reject accompany. Perhaps he finally believed Dooku. Perhaps he needed someone to scold him and tell him he wasn’t blameworthy.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps none of it mattered.</p><p> </p><p>And in the end, Dooku’s remarks made his exile more bearable. He was… the exact opposite of the voice of reason. There had to be a word for this. For one’s blasphemous grandmaster’s “Hmm, you should kill him. I never was able to stand slavers anyway.” kind of comments on a desert planet. Or “If you steal from the thieves it is not stealing!” kind of comments. Obi-wan never found it though.</p><p> </p><p>“I am starting to think you are not my imagination.” Obi-wan told him on a shiny day. But days were always and almost disgustingly shiny there, so it didn’t make a difference.</p><p> </p><p>“Such humility!” Dooku quipped. “I haven’t seen anyone less self-centered than you in my entire life.”</p><p> </p><p>And Obi-wan chuckled.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i always thought if it was solely about letting go, qui-gon wouldn't be a force ghost. i am not a native speaker so your ideas means a lot! so... yell at me, give me advice and show me my mistakes. "kriffing" english grammar am i right</p><p>thank you so much for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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